


A Break from Nonnatus

by WritingFrances



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Camping, F/F, Friendship, Smut, Smut in a tent no less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-03 18:49:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10973235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingFrances/pseuds/WritingFrances
Summary: The girls go on a camping trip! And Trixie hears some goings on in Patsy and Delia's tent...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something to keep us all going...

“Phyllis, I _promise_ , we’ll be so careful with it.”

Phyllis eyed the four eager midwives in front of her dubiously. 

“You won’t break any speed limits?”

“We won’t break any speed limits.”

“And you’ll stop at stop signs?”

“We’ll stop at all the stop signs. Even if there isn’t a sign, we’ll stop. Just to make sure.”

“And you’ll fill it up before you bring it back?”

“We’ll fill it with petrol _and_ we’ll replenish your stock of barley sugars.”

There was a pregnant silence as Phyllis appraised the situation. Barbara bounced nervously on the balls of her feet, her hand on Trixie’s arm. Delia was gritting her teeth in excited anticipation whilst Patsy bit her lip, eyebrows slightly raised. 

“Oh, go on then.”

There were cheers as the girls gathered around, grabbing Phyllis’ arms in enthusiastic thanks.

“On _one_ condition.” Phyllis continued.

“Anything.”

“Nurse Busby.” Phyllis pointed at Delia, who gulped slightly. “As you’re the one that’s going to be driving, I want to see how capable you are. Tomorrow, you are to take me to and from all of my appointments.”

“Oh, go on Phyllis, it’s my day off!” Delia protested. “I’m an excellent driver, I assure you.”

“Well, you can find someone else’s car to drive excellently in, then.” Phyllis folded her arms, waiting for Delia to make the next move.

“It’s just for one day, Delia.” Barbara said, looking apologetically at Delia.

“Go on, Deels,” Patsy urged. “We’ll make sure you’re rewarded.”

Delia looked at Patsy, who winked so subtly Delia wasn’t even sure she’d seen it all. She could tell from the glint in Patsy’s eye, however, that the reward wouldn’t be a group effort. 

“Fine, I’ll do it.” Delia conceded, receiving a pat on the back from Trixie.

“That’s the spirit, old thing!” Barbara bounced excitedly on the spot as Phyllis started to make her way away from the group.

“8am tomorrow on the dot, Nurse Busby.” She called behind her, exiting the kitchen and leaving the other four behind her to giggle and plan as they started pouring over maps, feeling limitless now they had access to a car for the weekend. 

*

“Pats, have you got the maps?” Delia called from the driver’s seat. Patsy was busy loading bags and boxes into the boot of the car. Phyllis had eventually been forced to admit that Delia’s driving was up to standard and had acquiesced to lending them the car after forcing Delia to drive her around from appointment to appointment like a chauffeur, and had then given her ‘wrong directions’ that had taken Delia onto the motorway. 

“Yes, they’re in the glove compartment!” Patsy called back, aggressively shoving a bag into a space that was clearly too small for it. “What on _Earth _has Trixie packed in here?”__

__Admitting defeat, Patsy pulled the bag back out and opened it up._ _

__“She’s got to be joking…”_ _

__“What?” Delia got back out of the car and made her way to the boot, laughing as she saw what Patsy was holding._ _

__“A formal dress and two –“ Patsy reached further into the bag. “Make that _three_ pairs of high heels!" _ _

__

__

__“Patsy, has Trixie ever been camping? I mean, she does _know_ what it is?” _ _

__

__

__“I rather think she’s just being optimistic, hoping that we’ll bump into some rich gentlemen who’ll take us back to their country club for the weekend!” Patsy bundled the shoes into the dress, wrapping them up and shoving them into Delia’s arms._ _

__“Here, quickly, take these back inside. And don’t let her see you! Goodness know what she’s got in her other two bags, I’ll have to recheck all of them as well now…”_ _

__It was a good fifteen minutes later before everyone was safely bundled in the car, Trixie slightly disgruntled at having to compress her make-up bag to absolute essentials (which was still more than the other three had brought all together), and a further ten minutes spent driving around Poplar in a circle as Barbara realised she’d left her toothbrush._ _

__“Okay, if anyone’s forgotten anything else they’re just going to have to live without it. We’re already nearly half an hour behind schedule.” Patsy shook out the map in the front seat as Delia pulled away from Nonnatus._ _

__“Honestly, Patsy, we’re going on holiday! I don’t know why we have to have a schedule.” Trixie tutted from the backseat. Patsy eyed her in the wing mirror._ _

__“Trixie, if you want to put up a tent in the dark, then be my guest, but I, for one, would rather not.”_ _

__Trixie settled back into the seat and closed her eyes, letting the late afternoon sun warm her face._ _

__“It’s so lovely to be able to get away for a bit. I don’t much fancy birthing babies in this heat!”_ _

__“Not at all!” said Barbara happily, winding her window down and letting the wind blow through her hair. “Now, where are Phyllis’ barley sugars?”_ _

__*_ _

__

__“There, that was the road!” Patsy pointed out of the window as Delia zoomed past the end of a small country lane. “Why didn’t you turn?”_ _

__They had been driving for four hours and the sweltering heat of the car was taking its toll. Delia could feel her patience wearing thin._ _

__“Patsy, you can’t just point to a road when I’m already going 40mph past it and shout, ‘that’s the one!’” Delia snapped._ _

__“I gave you plenty of warning!” Patsy said defensively._ _

__Delia slammed on the brakes, pulling unceremoniously into the side of the road._ _

__“Do _you_ want to drive, Pats?” She glared at Patsy. “You’re obviously an expert!” _ _

__

__

__“Of course I don’t want to drive, Delia – stop being ridiculous!”_ _

__“I’m not _being_ ridiculous –“ _ _

__

__

__“Oh, for goodness sake!” Trixie undid her seatbelt and opened the car door, clambering out and walking over to Patsy’s door, opening it. “Patsy, in the back. Now.”_ _

__“Trixie!”_ _

__“ _Now_ , Patsy! I’m not sitting here for another two hours listening to you two bickering like an old married couple. Get in the back.” _ _

__

__

__Patsy clambered into the back seat irritably, muttering under her breath about road signs and Welsh tempers._ _

__“Right.” Trixie shook the map out authoritatively. “Let’s have a look.”_ _

__Delia pulled back onto the road, glaring at Patsy in the rear-view mirror._ _

__“Okay, if you stay on this road Delia, we can take the next left and we’ll end up in the right place, and then –“ Trixie looked closely at the map. “Yes, and then we should only be about five minutes away! Look, it’s just here.”_ _

__Trixie showed the map to Barbara and Patsy in the back – Barbara pretended to look interested, although in actual fact she had no idea how to read maps, and even if she did, she wasn’t even sure where it was they were going, and Patsy stared resolutely out of the window, refusing to look at the object that has gotten her into trouble in the first place._ _

__Trixie rolled her eyes and turned back to the front, giving Delia directions every few minutes or so until they turned onto a road and began to head into the national park._ _

__“Okay, what about here?” Trixie said after a couple of minutes driving. Delia slowed the car down and stared at Trixie._ _

__“Are you joking?” Delia frowned at her in amusement, looking at the steep hill they were driving past. She could see Patsy smirking in the back._ _

__“What’s wrong with it?” Trixie stared at Delia in confusion. Delia let out a laugh, gave Trixie a pat on the leg, and carried on driving._ _

__When Delia did eventually stop the car, they were in a secluded spot of woods, a river to one side of the clearing and a view of the hills for miles at the other._ _

__“Gosh, it’s gorgeous!” Barbara exclaimed, opening the car door, eager to stretch her legs._ _

__“You can say that again, Babs!” Patsy breathed, opening her own door and stepping around to open the boot. Trixie leapt out of the car joyfully, skipping over to look at the river. Patsy started unloading the bags, feeling Delia come up beside her, nudging her playfully with her hip. She smiled, shoving the heavier bag into Delia’s waiting arms._ _

__“Off you pop, Busby. Go and get our tent up – I’m timing you!”_ _

__“If I’m putting this up on my own, then I’ll be the only one sleeping in it!” Delia winked, carrying the bag off to a flat bit of ground and dropping it, shouting over to Trixie and Barbara._ _

__“Come on, you two! Last one to get their tent up has to make the tea.”_ _

__Trixie trotted back over, eyes gleaming with competition._ _

__“Come on, Barbara. We’ve got this in the bag.”_ _

__“Speak for yourself, Trixie. I’m _awful_ at putting up tents!” Barbara looked at the mess of poles and canvas Trixie was unloading onto the ground. _ _

__

__

__“Oh Barbara, how hard can it be?” Trixie shook out the instructions confidently whilst Patsy and Delia smirked at each other._ _

__A record six minutes later, Patsy and Delia were reclining in their camping chairs, matching smug looks on their faces as they watched Barbara and Trixie hiss at each other, struggling underneath a mass of canvas. Trixie untangled herself and looked at Patsy and Delia’s perfect tent, aghast, then back at hers and Barbara’s, which looked as though it had already weathered a storm and was giving an odd, tilting expression that made it look as though it had been pitched on the side of a cliff._ _

__“How on _Earth_ have you managed that?” _ _

__

__

__“Trixie, you’re looking at a cubs’ leader and someone who grew up in rural Wales.” Patsy grinned, laughing as Barbara threw down the pole she was holding in annoyance._ _

__“Oh, Patsy, please help us!” she begged. “I’ll honestly make all of your cups of tea all weekend!”_ _

__“Oh, alright. But I’ll be expecting my tea to be brought to the door of my tent each morning!” Patsy rolled her eyes in mock dramatics, pushing herself up out of her chair and walking over to fix Trixie and Barbara’s disaster. The sun was starting to set and the sky was turning a deep pink as Trixie and Barbara gathered firewood from the surrounding area, bringing it over to Delia for approval as she began to set up a sturdy camp fire. Patsy came to sit with her after a short while, Trixie and Barbara’s tent finally looking as it should, and inspected Delia’s mound of kindling._ _

__“I’m impressed, Nurse Busby.” Patsy nodded, giving Delia a wink and taking her cigarettes out of her shirt pocket._ _

__“As you should be,” Delia smiled, taking a box of matches out of her pocket, striking one against the side of the packet and holding it up for Patsy to light her cigarette before dropping it onto the kindling. “Now make yourself useful and go and grab that bottle of whisky.”_ _

__“Yes, ma’am!” Patsy gave a salute and headed towards the tent to source the bottle, turning back to watch Delia grin in satisfaction as she got the fire going. Patsy smiled to herself, knowing that it wouldn’t be the whisky or the fire keeping her warm tonight._ _


	2. Barbara Gets a Fright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I've named the chapters like they're from an Enid Blyton novel... It just happened. Delia is a hero! 
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive love to anyone effected by the horrific events at the M.E.N. last night. These things are always so horrific, and it's always so hard to talk about, but let's stick together and show each other the love and compassion we need.

“Oh my goodness, it was absolutely freezing last night!” 

Barbara hopped gracefully out of her tent, stretching in the morning sun and smiling at Patsy and Delia, who were already up and dressed and waiting for the kettle to boil. The two girls looked at each other and then quickly away before their faces betrayed them. Body heat had kept them warm last night in a way that Trixie and Barbara’s couldn’t. 

“Where’s Trixie?”

Delia grinned.

“She’s gone to find a bathroom, so she said.”

Barbara bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.

“Oh, Trixie. How long has she been gone?”

Patsy laughed and pointed to a spot behind Barbara.  
The others turned to see Trixie, wearing a teal sun dress, large sunglasses and a frown, making her way back over to the camp looking less than pleased.

“Nothing.” She huffed, sitting on Delia’s chair as Delia tended to the fire. “No hint of civilisation, no bathrooms of any sort and I’ve had to do my hair in a miniscule hand mirror!”

“That explains it,” Patsy said cheekily, eyeing Trixie’s hair and receiving a glare in return.

“It really would seem like we’re the only people for absolutely miles - I’ve not come across another soul at all, nevermind a man!”

“Good Heavens!” Patsy looked at her watch in mock outrage. “The ones I ordered should have been here hours ago!”

Trixie fixed Patsy with another glare as Barbara and Delia laughed loudly.

“Here you go, cariad.” Delia handed Trixie a steaming mug of tea. “You can have the first cup seeing as you’ve had such a traumatic morning.”

“Thank you, Delia.” Trixie took the cup, smiling resignedly. “I suppose you three will have to do for company.” She gave them a good natured wink, taking a sip of her tea.

“What’s the plan today then, folks?” Delia asked, handing Patsy and then Barbara a cup of tea before settling on the ground at Patsy’s feet with her own. Patsy smiled down at Delia. Just the sight of her made Patsy happy. Delia seemed so natural in the outdoors. She was wearing brown shorts with green turn-ups and a matching green shirt, pockets bulging with penknives, balls of string, matches and a host of other objects she thought it best to have on her, ‘just in case’. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she was a 25 year old woman and that from her vantage point above Delia Patsy had an exceptional view of her breasts, Delia could have been a cub scout.

“I think we should head in that direction.” Barbara pointed to some hills in the distance. “The river flows that way and it looks like a glorious walk. There’s some gorgeous bridges, too – we might be able to find a man underneath one of them for Trixie!”

Trixie rolled her eyes as the others chuckled, but agreed nonetheless. They ate a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs, stretching their legs in the morning sun and debating whether or not it was tempting fate to pack their suncream in the picnic bag. Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry, they cleared away the breakfast things, made sure the fire was stamped out, and headed for the hills.

The sun continued to shine throughout the day and the mood was jovial, the girls laughing and chatting as they rambled through the countryside, enjoying the fresh northern air that was such a welcome change from the fumes and smog they were so used to breathing in in Poplar. Trixie was just about to suggest that she might actually be enjoying camping more than she’d anticipated when they came to a crossing in the river, noticing in dismay that the rickety bridge they needed in order to get to the other side had collapsed, half of it hanging dismally onto the river bank, the other half nowhere to be seen.

“Hell’s teeth!” Delia said in her best Phyllis impression, walking over to assess the situation. “Who’s up for a swim?”

“Delia, you’ve got to be joking!” Barbara looked over in horror to see Delia grinning.

“Come on, there’s a fallen tree up there, can you see?” Delia pointed to further up the river, where a large tree was lodged horizontally across the river.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Deels?” Patsy asked, eyeing the tree sceptically as they made their way over to it. “It doesn’t really look like the most stable of makeshift bridges…”

“Well, our only other alternative is to go back the way we came, which will take about three hours. This way, once we’ve crossed the river, we’re only about five minutes from the tent, and I’m absolutely starving!”

The others agreed reluctantly. They had been walking all day, and as enjoyable as it had been, none of them fancied walking for a further three hours when the tent was so close.

“It’ll be fine.” Delia announced assuredly. “I’ll go first.”  
She hopped lightly onto the tree, testing it by bouncing her weight on it a little and taking a few steps forward. She had taken her pumps off halfway through the walk, giving them to Patsy to carry, saying she wanted to be able to feel the grass as she walked. Her bare feet padded blithely over the tree bark.

“See?” She turned back to the others, smiling. They watched as Delia skipped confidently over to the other side, waving at them as she landed safely on the other bank.

“She’s crazy.” Trixie looked accusingly at Patsy, as though it was her fault that Delia was so nonchalant about the perils of their journey.

“She is.” Patsy replied, trying to suppress a smile. “Go on Trix, you go next.”

Trixie put a tentative foot onto the tree, pulling back almost immediately.

“Oh, Patsy, this is ridiculously dangerous.” She frowned, biting her lip as she looked at Patsy in concern. Trixie was not one to shy away from a challenge and didn’t scare easily, but the thought of plunging into the river beneath them frightened her a little more than she was willing to admit. 

“Trixie, you’ll be fine!” Barbara said supportively. “Go on, the quicker you do it, the quicker it’ll be over with. It’ll be like ripping off a plaster.”

“Oh, heavens. If I end up in this river, I’m holding you personally responsible, Delia Busby!” Trixie called as she stepped back onto the tree, inhaling sharply as she did so. Patsy watched with bated breath until Trixie made it safely to the other side to, Delia holding a hand out to help her onto the bank.

“Right.” Said Patsy confidently. “I’ll go next, Babs, and then you follow, alright?”

Barbara nodded uneasily, feeling less confident now that Patsy was halfway across and she was the only one left. She looked at the relatively thin trunk and thoughts of her clumsy nature came, unbidden, into her mind.

“Maybe I should crawl!” Barbara yelled to the others as she looked nervously at the water rushing underneath. She squatted down, putting her hands on the tree and prepared to shimmy herself along.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this…” Delia muttered to the others as Patsy hopped lightly onto the bank. Delia took a step closer to the end of the tree trunk, watching Barbara make her way across.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine…” Trixie said anxiously, more to calm herself than anything else. “If we all made it, there’s no reason that –“

CRACK

“BARBARA!” There was an crash as the end of the tree nearest them started to slide down the bank and into the river.

Barbara yelled out, clinging with her arms to the trunk.

“Shit, shit, SHIT!” Delia looked around frantically. Before Patsy or Trixie had even had time to think, Delia was sprinting to the tree next to them, clambering with ease up its thick trunk and wriggling across the lowest branch until she was hovering just over Barbara’s head.

“Delia! What the hell are you doing?” Patsy yelled, gripping Trixie’s arm in panic as Delia suddenly dropped from the tree, her thighs wrapped around the branch, holding an arm out to Barbara. “Oh, my God.” Patsy covered her eyes, unable to watch.

“Barbara, stand up carefully, and grab my wrist.” Delia instructed as Barbara stared at her in shock.

“Delia, I can’t, I’m going to fall in!”

“No, you’re not. You’re going to be fine. Once you’ve grabbed me, we’ll get you up no problem.” Delia’s voice was calm. “Now come on, hurry up before all the blood rushes to my head!”

Barbara started to stand up slowly, her eyes fixed on the end of the tree that was under water.

“That’s it, that’s it,” Delia coaxed. “You’re doing brilliantly. Now just stand up, slowly, and grab my wrist.”

Barbara stood up shakily and reached her hand up, wrapping it firmly around Delia’s wrist.

“There we are,” Delia said gently, gripping Barbara’s wrist tightly so they were locked together. “There we are, that’s it. Now, what I’m going to do is pull you up, okay Babs? I need you to grab hold of this tree branch I’m on as soon as it’s in reach, okay?”

“Right, okay,” Barbara said shakily, feeling slightly more confident at Delia’s reassuring voice.

“Are you ready? One, two –“ with a strong heave, Delia pulled herself and Barbara up just enough for Barbara to grab onto the tree branch with both arms and pull herself up. Delia flopped back down, dangling and getting her breath back before reaching up to grab the branch and swinging herself back around to a sitting position.

“Are you okay?” Delia panted, putting her hand on Barbara’s arm.

“Just!” Barbara breathed.

“We’re nearly down now. Just shuffle along this branch, that’s it.”

Barbara shuffled shakily along the branch until she made it safely to the trunk where Patsy and Trixie were waiting to help her down.

“Delia Busby, I swear to God, don’t you ever do anything like that again!” Patsy reprimanded, pulling Delia down from the tree.

“Yes, we’ll just let poor old Babs drown next time!” Delia raised her eyebrows at Patsy.

“There won’t _be_ a next time, thank you very much!” Barbara let out a laugh, relieved to be back on steady ground. “I’m starting to think I’d rather have stayed at home and helped Phyllis with a breach birth!”

“Let’s just get back to the tent before Delia decides to put us all in any more mortal danger!” Trixie said dramatically, shooting a quick grin at Delia and linking her arm through Barbara’s, starting towards their camp.

“Trixie’s right,” Patsy said softly to Delia as they walked behind Trixie and Barbara, arms linked and bodies pressed as close to each other as they could get away with. “You _are_ crazy.” Patsy looked ahead to make sure Trixie and Barbara were out of ear shot and dropped her voice even lower. “But that was some very impressive thigh work.”

Delia smirked and gave Patsy a wink.

“I’ll show you impressive thigh work.”

They made it back to their camp without further incident, much to Barbara’s relief, and headed into their respective tents to change into some warmer clothes before cooking tea. Delia flopped down on the mass of blankets, arms and legs splayed out across the tent, her hair fanning out over the pillows.

"I’m bloody shattered!” she said, squirming around on the blanket and creating what Patsy could only describe as a mess. Patsy frowned at her.

“Delia, must you really move so much? We’ve been walking all day, surely if you’re that tired you could just lie still!”

Delia propped herself up on her elbows and looked around at the mass of blankets sheepishly.

“Sorry, Pats. I’ll make the bed as soon as I stand up. Promise.”

“You’d better.” Patsy narrowed her eyes playfully and lay down gently next to Delia, placing her lips on Delia’s in a soft kiss, a hand making its way to Delia’s hip. Patsy pulled Delia closer, revelling in her scent, the feel of her warm body pressed against Patsy’s own.

”I love you,” Delia suddenly mumbled into Patsy’s mouth.

“What?” Patsy pulled back suddenly, her eyes wide with surprise.

Delia felt her lungs tighten. She hadn’t meant to say it. It had just slipped out. Not that she didn’t mean it. She definitely meant it. Patsy was so tentative about so many things in their relationship that Delia had been holding herself back from saying it, not wanting to scare Patsy by making such a loaded admission, and yet here it was, making itself known in a tiny tent somewhere in the north of England.

“I’m sorry –“ Delia stammered, sitting up. “I didn’t mean to – it just fell out.”

“Did you just say you loved me?” Patsy blinked.

“No…”

“No?” Patsy’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Well, yes…” Delia could feel her cheeks starting to burn. 

“But I didn’t mean…”

“So, you said you loved me, but you didn’t mean it?”

“No!” Delia shook her head in embarrassment. “Of course I meant it. I just didn’t mean to _say_ it.”

“Oh.”

There was a moment of silence, during which Delia stared steadfastly at the ceiling of the tent, eyes shut in humiliation.

Patsy spoke finally, pulling Delia back down towards her.  
“Well, I’m glad you did. Because I love you, too.” Patsy kissed the deep dimple that had just appeared on Delia’s cheek. “Even if you are a complete buffoon who hangs from trees and messes up my tent.”

*

Trixie let out a contented sigh as she leant back against Patsy’s legs, a blanket wrapped around her, a warming tumbler of whisky in her hand, watching the flames from the fire dance in front of them.

Barbara and Delia were huddled opposite, eyes turned up towards the darkened sky, pointing out the constellations they could recognise.

“What do you think it’s like being in love, Patsy?” Trixie asked softly, taking another sip of whisky.

Patsy looked down in surprise.

“Where did that come from?” she asked, her cigarette frozen in mid-air between her fingers, half way to her mouth.

Trixie gave a shrug.

“I was just wondering.” She said, crossing her ankles in front of her. “What do you think love _is_?”

Patsy took a thoughtful drag on her cigarette. She could hear Delia talking softly to Barbara about constellations, but she knew her ears were on their conversation.

“I think it’s…” Patsy bit her lip, watching Barbara laughing at something Delia had said, Delia grinning sheepishly. “I think it’s someone who doesn’t just _accept_ your bad qualities but loves you for them. Someone who tells you when they think you’re about to make a bad decision, but supports you when you make it anyway. Someone who brings out the best in you, and who knows you better than you know yourself. Someone who knows what you _need_ , rather than what you think you want. Someone who would cycle three miles in the pouring rain just to say hello to you when you got back from a nightshift.” Patsy thought about the years her and Delia had been together, how much she’d grown as a person since Delia came into her life, how Delia could see past her every mask and knew just how to handle her. “I think it’s someone who can hear you, even when you’re not saying a word.”

There were a few moments of silence, and then Trixie turned around slowly, looking up at Patsy, a questioning frown on her face.

Patsy shrugged non-committedly, realising suddenly how loose-lipped the whisky had made her.

“But who knows.” She said, finishing the rest of her drink in one and throwing the end of her cigarette into the fire before standing up and announcing that she was turning in, her dark eyes meeting Delia’s for a split second in a silent invitation.


	3. Trixie Hears a Noise, or A Midnight Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to edit this as I noticed a typo (I say typo, I mean glaring spelling mistake) and somehow deleted the entire chapter. So, apologies for that. Here it is again! (Also, apologies again for the alternative title, I genuinely couldn't stop myself).

“God, it’s freezing!” Delia snuggled closer to Patsy, grabbing Patsy’s arm and wrapping it around herself as if it was an extra blanket.

“Gosh, I know! Come here,” Patsy smiled, pulling Delia closer to her and planting a kiss on her lips. Delia smiled into the kiss, sighing as she felt Patsy’s soft lips moving against her own. 

“You’re very good at camping.” Patsy murmured, nibbling at Delia’s lower lip. “I find it incredibly… alluring.”

Delia rolled so she was slightly on top of Patsy, easing the tip of her tongue gently into Patsy’s mouth, eliciting a quiet moan from the other woman as she slid her arms down until they came to a natural rest on Delia’s hips, slipping easily under her pyjama top. 

“Are you feeling any warmer yet?” Delia asked, breaking the kiss and pushing herself up, placing a hand on either side of Patsy’s head and propping herself up. 

“A little. Not enough.” Patsy gave Delia a lopsided smile as Delia rolled fully over, slipping her thigh in between Patsy’s legs and resting her weight on it, placing her mouth back on Patsy’s, her kisses deeper now, the feeling of Patsy’s body underneath her own spurring her on, all sense of playfulness gone. She could feel her skin prickling under Patsy’s touch as hands made their way up her back, nails softly scraping on their way back down. She felt her stomach flip as Patsy slipped her hands under the waistband of her pyjama bottoms, pulling Delia impossibly closer to her and swallowing slightly as Delia moved her hands to the neck of Patsy’s pyjama shirt, her nimble fingers making light work of the buttons, her hands travelling over Patsy’s chest. She let Patsy’s breast fill her hand, rolling her nipple gently between thumb and index finger, feeling it harden at her touch. 

Patsy let out a small groan as Delia sat up, purposely grinding her hips into Patsy’s as she did so. Delia pulled her pyjama top off and leant back down, shuddering at the sensation of her bare breasts touching Patsy’s, her flushed skin aflame with desire. Sitting up slightly and bringing Delia with her, Patsy used one arm to shrug off her own pyjama shirt, the other wrapping itself around Delia’s back, her fingertips digging urgently into Delia’s flesh, capturing Delia’s lips with her own once more. Delia let out a small squeal as Patsy suddenly flipped them over so she was lying in between Delia’s legs. 

“Shhh,” Patsy murmured in response to Delia’s giggles as she kissed her way down her neck.

“Sorry!” Delia whispered, a grin still planted on her face. She let out a small gasp as she felt Patsy’s tongue tracing a pattern across her shoulder blade, felt her lips make their way across her breast, her teeth slowly grazing her nipple. 

Delia bit her lip as Patsy continued to tease her nipple, tugging at it with her teeth, her hands gripping Delia’s hips as her mouth moved lower. She felt her hips lift as Patsy’s mouth left her momentarily, ridding her of her pyjama bottoms before resuming the journey south down her stomach. 

“God, Pats…” Delia groaned as Patsy moved her mouth to the top of Delia’s leg, running her tongue over the soft skin, placing gentle kisses on her inner thigh before moving towards Delia’s centre.

Delia suddenly realised what Patsy was doing.

“Pats, no! Not this, not here!” Delia hissed as Patsy hooked Delia’s knee over her shoulder. “Trixie and Babs are only there!”

Patsy ignored her. Delia was glad. She put a shaking hand over her eyes as she felt Patsy’s hot breath on her. She knew how wet she was, she could feel it, every inch of her burning, throbbing, desperate for Patsy’s touch. She thought of Patsy’s tongue, yet to touch her where she needed it most, and her hips lifted slightly towards Patsy’s mouth.

“Deels?” Patsy whispered into the dark.

“Mmhm?” Delia took a shuddering breath. If Patsy didn’t touch her soon she thought she might die. 

“We need to be quiet…” 

“I am being quiet.” 

“For now…” Delia could hear the smirk in Patsy’s voice. 

“What – OH!” Delia let out an involuntary yell, clamping her hand over her mouth as she finally felt Patsy’s tongue swipe, ever so lightly, across her clit. 

And then nothing.

“Pats, _stop it_!” She hissed, her breathing short and quick now. 

“Oh, you want me to stop?” Patsy’s voice was playful. 

“Stop teasing!” Delia could feel her hips lifting of their own accord as Patsy gave a low chuckle. 

“As you wish.” 

Delia bit down on her wrist as she felt the tip of Patsy’s tongue on her clit once more, teasing it, circling gently. She bit back an anguished moan, craving more, knowing that Patsy was holding her fingers mere centimetres away, biding her time. She felt Patsy’s tongue flat against her now, lapping gently, waves of pleasure rippling through Delia’s body. She put the hand that wasn’t over her mouth in Patsy’s hair, whimpering as she felt Patsy’s head moving in a slow, steady rhythm. 

“Pats…” Delia couldn’t string the rest of the sentence together, but Patsy understood and Delia felt the tips of Patsy’s fingers hovering over her entrance. “Patsy, _please_!”

Delia almost cried out when Patsy dipped her fingers inside her, fingertips just lightly entering, adding the slightest pressure, and then pulling back out.  
Patsy’s teasing was torture, and she knew it. Delia had never been more turned on in her entire life, desperate for more of Patsy, lust burning through her body. She let out a soft moan, loud enough for Patsy to hear it, loud enough for Patsy to need it as much as Delia did. Two could play that game. 

Delia was rewarded when she felt Patsy’s long fingers enter her fully, Patsy’s tongue working its magic on her clit. She tightened her leg around Patsy’s neck, pulling her closer, clamping a tight hand down on her mouth now, unable to trust herself not to scream as she felt herself reaching a crescendo. As Patsy curled her fingers, Delia saw stars, her hips lifting and shuddering as she came spectacularly into Patsy’s mouth, wave after wave rippling through her, a cry of pleasure escaping her involuntarily as her muscles clamped around Patsy’s fingers, riding out the rest of her orgasm. 

Eventually Delia collapsed back into the blankets, breathing heavily, her arms spread out beside her, her leg still hanging lazily, contently, over Patsy’s shoulder. 

“God, Pats.” She breathed happily. 

Patsy slowly removed her fingers from Delia, laying Delia’s leg gently on the blankets and crawling beside her, a lopsided smile on her face.

“Well, that was –“ Patsy began, only to be cut off by a noise from outside the tent.

“Patsy?” It was Trixie. Patsy and Delia heard the zip of Trixie and Barbara’s tent and started scrambling quickly for clothes, Patsy hurriedly pulling her pyjama shirt back on, hastily doing the buttons as they heard Trixie make her way to the front of their tent. Delia didn’t have as much luck, unable to find any of the garments she’d had on previously, and instead having to dive under the blankets as Trixie unzipped the flap of their tent, the cold night air flooding in.

“Patsy? Is everything okay? I heard someone shout.” Trixie squinted through the dark at Patsy who was sat up straight, colour creeping up her neck. 

“Fine Trixie, Delia was just… just having a nightmare.”

Trixie looked at Delia’s seemingly sleeping form.

“She’s fine now…” Patsy finished lamely. 

Trixie raised an eyebrow.

“Right.” Trixie looked closely at Patsy’s face. Patsy shifted uncomfortably, looking at the tent zip, unable to meet Trixie’s eye any longer. 

“Right.” Trixie said again, somewhat awkwardly. “Well, good night.”

Trixie turned around and walked back through the dark to her own tent, leaving a silence behind her and Patsy with her head in her hands.

“She knows.” Patsy said bluntly as Delia sat back up.

Delia bit her lip.

“Do you really think so?”

“She knows, Deels. I know she does, she can read me like a book. I shouldn’t have said all that stuff earlier around the camp fire.” Patsy groaned into her hands. “Why am I so stupid?”

“You’re not stupid, Pats. Far from it.” Delia pulled her pyjama shirt back on, doing the buttons up and then opening her arms for Patsy to crawl into. “Come here, cariad.” They settled back down, cocooning themselves in the thick blankets, Patsy’s arms wrapped tightly around Delia’s waist, her head snug on Delia’s chest. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”


	4. The Truth Dawns on Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie comes to a realisation, and confront Patsy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry - the happy holiday mood will pick back up soon!

“Barbara!” Trixie shook Barbara’s sleeping form, whispering harshly into her ear. “ _Barbara!_ ”

Barbara awoke with a start, jumping when she noticed Trixie’s wide-eyed face inches from her own.

“Trixie? What’s going on?”

“Shhh!” Trixie put her finger on her lips. “Be quiet, I don’t want them overhearing.”

“Want who hearing?” Barbara rubbed her eyes, frowning at Trixie in confusion.

“Patsy and Delia!” Trixie breathed, pulling the blankets closer around herself, lying on her front and propping herself up on her elbows. “Barbara, I need to talk to you about something. About them.”

“You need to talk to me about Patsy and Delia?” Barbara had shaken herself awake now and was mirroring Trixie’s position.

“Yes.” Trixie took a deep breath. “I heard something. Someone. Just now. So I went into their tent, but when I got there, Delia was asleep – well, pretending, she was quite obviously awake, and Patsy had this _look_ on her face that I’ve seen so many times when she’s been caught out doing something, and I just sort of realised, as soon as I went in, but then of course I had to stay and pretend that I _didn’t_ know what was going on, and, well –“

“Trixie, you’re rambling, I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” Barbara raised her eyebrows in exasperation. “Will you just tell me, simply, what happened.”

Trixie let out a breath.

“They’d been having sex.”

There was a silence, and then –

“Okay? And what? You went to barge in on them?” Barbara frowned.

“Barbara! They were having _sex_! Patsy and Delia!” Trixie stared wide eyed at Barbara.

“Trixie, I don’t understand! So what?” 

“What do you mean, ‘so what’?! Aren’t you at all surprised?”

“Surprised at _what_?”

“At _them_! Being together!”

“Well, I already knew.” Said Barbara, simply.

“You _already knew_?” Trixie stared incredulously.

“I thought we all knew?” Barbara’s brow furrowed in further confusion. She was struggling to understand the conversation. 

“Are you telling me you _didn’t_ know?”

“Barbara, of course I didn’t know! What do you mean _you thought we all knew_?!”

“But Trixie, how could you not know? You _live_ with them both! All you have to do is look at the two of them – it’s written right across their faces! I thought it was just one of those things we all knew but didn’t say out loud because of, you know… complications.”

“Barbara, are you trying to tell me that you _knew_ that Patsy and Delia have been sleeping together and you didn’t say anything _at all_?”

“Well, to be honest Trixie, I don’t think it’s my place, or anyone else’s place, to say anything about it at all.” Barbara said determinedly. “You never know who’s going to turn out to be heinously prejudiced, and I’d be damned if I got them into trouble or put them in an awkward position.” 

Trixie shook her head in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe this.”

“Trixie…” Barbara sat up, frowning through the dark at Trixie. “You don’t have a problem with it, do you?”

Trixie sat up, facing Barbara.

“A problem with them being together?”

“Yes. Because if you do -”

“Oh, Barbara, no! Of course I don’t. That’s not what I’m het up about.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that Patsy’s meant to be my best friend! Why has she kept this from me?”

“Trixie, you’ve got to understand this from her point of view. Think about it. If the wrong person found out about this, Patsy could lose her _job_. They both could. Their job, their home, everything. Especially Patsy – she doesn’t have a family, she’s lost so much in her life already, do you think she can afford to risk losing us as well?”

“But she _wouldn’t_ lose me! If she thinks that this would change anything, if she thinks that she’d lose me just because of who she chooses to love, then she obviously doesn’t think very much of our friendship.” Trixie lay back down, wrapping the blankets around her angrily and facing away from Barbara. 

“Trixie, I’m sure that’s not –“

“Goodnight, Barbara.” Trixie said abruptly, making it clear the conversation was over. 

Barbara sighed as shuffled back down, flopping her head dejectedly onto her pillow. 

*

Patsy was the first to wake the next morning, the rising sun lighting up the tent and casting an orange glow over its inhabitants. She got dressed as quietly as she could, wobbling slightly due to the low ceiling as she pulled on her trousers, accidentally stepping on Delia, who swiped at her leg and then burrowed sleepily back into the blankets. 

Patsy stepped out of the tent, zipping the door shut behind her, and stretched her arms above her head, letting her gaze settle on the hills in the distance. She was just about to light a cigarette when she heard a tent zip and turned around to see Trixie appearing, an unlit cigarette resting in between her own fingers.

“Good morning.” Trixie said stiffly, zipping her tent behind her and fishing a lighter out of her pocket.

“Good morning.” Patsy replied uncomfortably, trying and failing to make her voice sound jovial. 

Trixie lit her cigarette and then replaced the lighter in her pocket, not offering it to Patsy, keeping her gaze firmly ahead of her. If Patsy needed any confirmation that Trixie had correctly construed last night’s events, this was it. She lit her own cigarette with shaking hands and took a deep drag, blowing the smoke through her nostrils. 

The silence stretched on for what felt like hours. Trixie’s lips were pressed tightly together and it was obvious that she was not going to provide Patsy with any kind of relief. Eventually, Patsy decided she would have to say something.

“Trixie…” 

Trixie threw the end of her cigarette on the floor, stubbed it into the grass with her foot, and stalked past the tents towards the river. Patsy let out a shaky sigh and followed.

“Trixie, can I just –“

“Just tell me the truth, Patsy.” Trixie said bluntly, leaning against a tree and talking as though Patsy had not spoken. “Are you and Delia sleeping together?”

Patsy finished her cigarette, throwing it to the ground and immediately lighting another.

“Yes.” She said eventually. There was no point mincing her words now. Trixie obviously knew what was going on. 

“And you didn’t think it worth mentioning to me?” Trixie’s tone was harsh.

“It wasn’t like that, Trixie. I never wanted to keep it from you.”

“How long has it been going on?” Trixie met Patsy’s eyes now, her own flashing dangerously. 

Patsy looked away, focusing her eyes instead on Barbara and Delia, who had just risen and were getting the fire started, looking over at Trixie and Patsy curiously. 

“How long?” Trixie said abruptly. 

Patsy took a deep breath, stealing herself for Trixie’s reaction.

“Three years.”

“ _Three years_?” Trixie’s voice came out in a slow whisper. She stared at Patsy, her eyes wide, her breathing shallow. Patsy swallowed. “ _THREE FUCKING YEARS_?”

“Uh oh.” Delia and Barbara looked up in unison at the sound of Trixie’s shout. 

“Oh dear.” Barbara said sadly, biting her lip. 

“You’ve been sleeping with someone for _three years_ and you didn’t think it was important enough to tell me?” Trixie was going red, her face screwed up in anger. “You thought so little of me, so little of our friendship, that you kept something this huge from me and didn’t even bat an _eyelid_?”

“Trixie, that’s not fair!” Patsy was raising her own voice now, beginning to fight back. “It’s not as though it’s the kind of subject matter that would naturally come up in conversation over the dinner table at Nonnatus! And on the rare occasions it _did_ come up, I think you’ll recall some rather hostile views!”

“Oh please, Patsy! Don’t you dare insinuate that I have the same views as someone like Sister Winifred!” Trixie hissed. “Do you really think I’d react as she did?”

Patsy let out a huff.

“Well?!” Trixie demanded.

Patsy threw her hands in the air.

“I don’t know, Trixie!” 

Trixie raised her eyebrows disbelievingly.

Patsy sighed.

“No.” She admitted, glumly. 

“So you mean to tell me, that in three whole years, three years of sharing a bedroom, three years of staying up until the early hours of the morning talking about almost everything, you just never found the chance to tell me?” Trixie glared at Patsy. 

“I’m sorry, Trixie.” Patsy heard her own voice break. “I’m so sorry.”

Trixie’s expression softened slightly as Patsy turned away, a hand over her mouth stifling a sob. 

“Patsy…” Trixie walked up behind Patsy, wrapping her arms around the taller girl’s waist and resting her cheek on Patsy’s back. “Patsy, please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.”

Trixie closed her eyes, holding her friend to her.

“Patsy, I’m not mad.”

“You’re certainly doing a good job of sounding it.”

Trixie gave a small smile.

“I’m not mad,” she repeated. “Not really. I’m just… Oh, Patsy, I’m just so sad.”

Trixie let out a small sob as Patsy turned around in her arms, wrapping her own around Trixie’s neck.

“You could have told me, Patsy!” Trixie sobbed into Patsy’s chest. “You can tell me anything, you _know_ that!”

“I know, Trixie.” Patsy buried her face in Trixie’s hair, too overcome with emotion to say anything else. She knew this day would come eventually. Delia had warned her on various occasions that the longer she left it, the worse it would be. She had talked herself out of it more times that she could count, thinking only of herself, thinking of how hard it was for her; she had never thought about how hard it would be for Trixie, and she hadn’t imagined that when the situation did finally present itself, she would feel so irrevocably overcome with guilt.


	5. Delia Gets a Grilling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm really sorry about the slow update - my brain just completely jammed writing this fic for some reason! It's taken me forever to get this chapter out (I accidentally wrote a whole 11 chapters of another fic in between) and even now it's still a bit of a nothing chapter! Hopefully I'll be able to relax my brain a bit and pull this fic back from the depths of horrific nonevents it's fallen into.

“They look like they’re having a bit of an intense morning!” Barbara chirped, passing the matches to Delia who was fiddling around with the fire.

“Hmm…” Delia agreed, fixing her eyes steadily on the firewood. She had a very strong feeling what Trixie and Patsy were arguing about and was feeling increasingly awkward sat here with Barbara as Patsy and Trixie made little effort to keep their voices down. Her hands shook as she lit the match, her anxiety about how this was going to pan out growing larger by the minute. She knew Trixie would go mad, had told Patsy as much on various occasions, but the thought had never occurred to her that Trixie might actually have a problem with it. Delia suddenly realised how Patsy had been feeling the past three years. The terror of losing her job, her life, of being shunted to the sidelines of society without a second thought. Delia, ever the optimist, had dismissed this without a second thought, positive that Trixie wouldn’t care less about the nature of their relationship, but the louder Trixie’s voice became, the more uncertain Delia felt.

“She doesn’t care, Delia.” Barbara said suddenly, causing Delia to jump.

“What?”

“Trixie. She doesn’t care about you and Patsy being together.”

Delia stared at Barbara with wide eyes, frozen until the match she was holding burnt the tips of her fingers and she dropped it, swearing, to the ground.

“Here, let me do that.” Barbara crouched down next to Delia, gently taking the matches out of her hands. “I’m sorry, you just looked so terrified, I felt I ought to put you out of your misery. Trixie doesn’t care. She’s just upset that Patsy didn’t tell her, that’s all. You know what she’s like.” Barbara gave Delia a grin. “She’s very sensitive about being kept in the dark.”

Delia just stared as Barbara attempted to get the fire going. 

“I just can’t believe she didn’t know,” Barbara continued nonchalantly, chattering happily away as Delia continued to gape at her. 

“Barbara –“ Delia shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. “Barbara, how do _you_ know?”

Barbara looked up, meeting Delia’s eyes and raising a sceptical eyebrow.

“Delia, please. You’re about as subtle as Sister Monica Joan pretending she doesn’t know where the Victoria sponge has gone.” Barbara stood up and handed Delia the matches, looking forlornly at the unlit fire pit. “And I’m terribly sorry, but I think I’ve been more of a hindrance than a help here.”

Delia took the matches silently and watched open-mouthed as Barbara skipped to the car, opened the boot and heaved out the cool box, her face a picture of serenity, as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all. Delia looked over to where Patsy and Trixie were stood, holding each other now, and Delia felt her heart skip as she realised Patsy was crying. Trixie was rubbing soft circles on Patsy’s back and Delia looked away, giving them privacy, settling herself down next to the fire pit and striking a match as she attempted to wrap her head around the morning’s events. 

*

“Trixie, I’m so sorry.” Patsy whispered again, holding Trixie a little tighter as she tried to express her sincerity. 

“Oh, Patsy, I know you are.” Trixie rubbed Patsy’s back soothingly. “Of course I’m upset at you for not telling me, but I’m upset more so for your sake than mine! Why do you think you had to go through all of that on your own?”

“I wasn’t on my own, I had Delia.” Patsy mumbled, resting her cheek on the top of Trixie’s head.

“Yes, but you can’t talk to Delia about Delia, can you? What do you do when you have a fight? Just lie in bed, stewing over it without anyone to talk to? What do you think I’m here for, Patsy? I’m your friend, I’m not like those stuck up middle class girls you went to boarding school with, no offence. Don’t let your past dictate how you go about your future. Don’t let it have this hold over you. You’ve spent so many years of your life not letting people in, not letting anyone get too close. I honestly thought I’d started to knock some of those walls down myself, but obviously not!” Trixie let out a laugh, pulling back from Patsy and reaching up to cup her face. “Just _let me in_!”

Patsy gave Trixie a small smile, closing her eyes to stop the fresh flow of tears that were threatening to spill. She couldn’t find the words to explain to Trixie what it meant to her to have hers and Delia’s relationship accepted as normal, to have Trixie understand that their relationship _was_ like any other, that there would be issues and upsets and situations that one needs to talk to a best friend about. 

“Come on.” Trixie rubbed Patsy’s arm reassuringly. “Let’s go and have some breakfast, and then I can badger Delia for the more exciting details of this relationship!” 

“Trixie, don’t you dare.” Patsy wiped her face, shaking her fringe out of her eyes in an attempt to regain her composure. “And anyway, Barbara is here. You can’t go blabbing about this, Trixie.”

Trixie smirked.

“Our dear detective Gilbert has apparently known about this for quite some time. You’re not as mysterious as you like to think, Nurse Mount.” Trixie winked and started to make her way back to the fire pit, leaving an open-mouthed Patsy gaping after her.

*

“What about at that square dance we had?”

Delia laughed as Trixie fired another question at her. They were rambling through the countryside, searching for a good spot for a picnic and to laze their last day away in the sun. Barbara and Trixie were taking great joy in grilling Delia for details of hers and Patsy’s relationship, whilst Patsy herself was walking quietly ahead. 

“Yes, Trixie, we were together at the square dance. And the cub scout jamboree, and the Christmas party where Sister Evangelina got drunk on Fred’s non-alcoholic wine, _and_ yours and Tom’s engagement party.” Delia checked the events off on her fingers whilst Trixie shook her head.

“I can’t believe this. How could I not have noticed? I can’t believe Patsy moved her girlfriend in right under the noses of a houseful of nuns!” Trixie stared at Patsy’s back, a bit further in the distance. “Everything makes so much sense now. Her and her _Delia was just teaching me a new card game_.” Trixie did a perfect impression of Patsy’s cut glass accent. Delia laughed, a blush coming to her face.

“Do you think she’s okay?” Barbara injected, partially because she was concerned at Patsy’s silence, and partially to save Delia from more potentially embarrassing interrogations from Trixie.

Delia sighed.

“I’ll go and check on her.” She gave the other two a smile and jogged on ahead, falling comfortably into step with Patsy once she reached her.

“Hello, Pats.” Delia smiled, quickly glancing over Patsy’s facial features before she managed to arrange them into the ones she wanted to project. Delia had learnt this trick early into their relationship. If she managed to catch Patsy unawares, she was able to quickly ascertain her mood. A second later and there would be a mask firmly in place. 

“Are you okay?” Delia asked gently. 

“Splendid.” Patsy gave Delia a smile. “Just enjoying the fresh air.”

Delia quirked an eyebrow.

“Pats.”

Patsy stared back.

“What?”

“Don’t _what_ me.” Delia smiled softly, letting Patsy know she was teasing. “I can tell when something’s bothering you. Your Nurse Mount cover-up doesn’t work on me.”  
Patsy sighed and jammed her hands into the pockets of her slacks.

“I’m fine, Deels. Really. I just feel a little…” Patsy’s eyes wandered the horizon in front of them as she searched for the right word. “Exposed, I suppose.”

“Patsy, it’s only Trixie and Barbara.” Delia said gently, reaching her hand out and entwining their fingers. Patsy’s gaze dropped momentarily to their clasped hands. Although her posture stiffened slightly at what was, for her, a brazen display of affection, she didn’t let go.


	6. Patsy Has a Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pats and Deels go for a late night drive. Patsy comes to some realisations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for this story, guys! Thanks so much for sticking with it, despite its slow progress! I might do another holiday fic in the future when my motivation is on track. Thanks so much for all your lovely comments, they're so appreciated :)

Trixie took a drag of her cigarette and looked thoughtfully at Patsy. Despite it being early evening, the heat of the day still hung in the air and she and Patsy were sat smoking with their feet in the stream as they watched Barbara and Delia chatting contently on a blanket by the tents, the car radio playing softly behind them. Patsy was watching Delia with such love on her face that Trixie felt her heart clench. 

“I wish you could get married.” She said suddenly, the words out of her mouth before she’d even thought about them.

“What?” Patsy whipped her head around to look at Trixie, taken aback.

“I’m sorry.” Trixie gave an apologetic grimace. “I didn’t mean that to sound so forward… It just makes me so angry to know that you’ll never be able to, and for absolutely no good reason at all.”

Patsy turned away, taking a slow drag of her own cigarette.

“Would you, though?” Trixie nudged Patsy gently with her shoulder. “Would you marry her, if you could?”

Patsy looked at Delia. Watched the way she smiled so warmly at Barbara as the low sunlight lit up her face, heard her gentle Welsh tones drift through the warm evening air, thought about how, just the other night, she had told Patsy she loved her. How Patsy had known immediately that she could say it honestly back. 

“In a heartbeat.” She said determinedly to Trixie. She hadn’t realised until she said it how fiercely she meant it. When she looked at Trixie, there were tears in both of their eyes. 

“You dark horse.” Trixie shook her head teasingly as she wiped away a tear. “You always made me believe you thought love was silly, like something out of a fairy tale that didn’t exist.”

Patsy gave a small laugh. 

“I _did_ feel like that for a while. For a long time. Delia changed that.”

“She changed a lot about you.” Trixie joined Patsy in watching Delia. “She changed so much about you, Patsy. I never saw it before, but now I know about you two… God, it’s so obvious. You’re a completely different person to who you used to be, it just happened so gradually that I didn’t even realise. You’ve completely opened your heart to love again.”

Patsy swished her feet in the water somewhat awkwardly. 

“I feel, sometimes, that I’ve not changed enough.” She said miserably.

“What do you mean?” Trixie frowned.

Patsy sighed and let her gaze drift away from Delia, instead settling it on the surrounding hillsides. The sun was beginning to dip in the sky, enveloping them in a soft, golden light. She let out a sad sigh. There were times when all she wanted to do was grab Delia’s hand and spin her around, dance with her in the middle of the street, hold her hand as they walked through town, pull her close and kiss her in front of all of their friends… But she never did.

“I’m terrified.” Patsy said quietly. “Delia is so… happy. She’s so carefree, so full of life and joy and contentment. I just feel like I’m a little…” Patsy bit her thumb nail, struggling to verbalise the emotions she usually kept to herself. “Damaged, I suppose.”

“ _Patsy!_ ” Trixie admonished softly. “You’re not damaged. Not at all. Don’t say that.”

Trixie gently pulled Patsy’s hand away from her mouth and held it.

“Delia loves you. All of you.” Trixie gave Patsy’s hand a gentle tug, forcing Patsy to look at her. “ _All_ of you. You’re amazing, Patsy. You’re the bravest, strongest, fiercest woman I’ve ever met. You’ve had a difficult past, and of course it’s affected you, but you’re not damaged. Please don’t ever think that you are.”

Patsy gave Trixie a small, sad smile.

“I just wish I could be a little less guarded and more like the person she wants me to be.”

“She wants you to be _you_ , Patsy.” Trixie said softly. “She absolutely adores you. Anyone can see that. Now, come on. Stop your moping and let’s see if Delia can’t get us a fire going.”

*

“Damn it.” 

Delia’s muffled voice drifted out of the car as she clambered in to turn off the radio.

“What’s the matter, Delia?” Trixie stood up, stretching, squinting through the evening light at the car.

“The radio has drained the battery too much.” Delia got out of the car, peering over the roof at the others. “I’m going to have to take it for a little run around to recharge it or we’ll never get it started in the morning, and I don’t quite fancy ringing Phyllis and telling her we’ve had to leave her car in the middle of nowhere.”

“Gosh, I think I’d rather push it home than admit to Phyllis that we’d killed it!” Barbara said vehemently. “Do you want one of us to come with you?”

“I’ll go.” Patsy stood up quickly, throwing her finished cigarette onto the dying fire and walking over to the passenger side door. “Goodness knows where she’ll end up without a navigator.” She threw Delia a cheeky grin, climbing into the car before Delia had chance to respond. 

*

After half an hour of driving through the hills, chattering away easily to each other and listening to the radio, Patsy turned to Delia. 

“Pull over.” She said suddenly.

“What?” Delia took her eyes off the road for a second to look quizzically at Patsy.

“Pull over.” Patsy repeated.

“Pats, why?” Delia slowed to a stop, staring as Patsy got out of the car and walked around to the driver’s side, opening the door and holding her hand out to Delia. 

“Dance with me.” Patsy said simply. The radio was playing a love song, filling the warm night air with gentle melodies against a backdrop of the soft callings of the nocturnal wildlife around them. Delia looked at Patsy with a mixture of confusion and amusement as she let herself be pulled from the car and led into the open road before it. Patsy spun her around slowly before pulling Delia flush against her, her arms around the smaller woman’s waist.

“I love you.” Patsy breathed into Delia’s ear as they danced. She felt Delia’s arms tighten around her neck as she whispered her response. “I mean it, Delia. I love you with my entire heart. I know that I mightn’t often show it as well as I could, and I might sometimes have trouble expressing it, but please, just know that if I could…”

Patsy took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

“If I could, I would ask you to marry me.”

For a moment, Delia said nothing as they swayed gently on the spot, arms wrapped around each other, cocooned, for the moment, in a world that was entirely their own. After a while, Delia spoke.

“Ask me anyway.” She said quietly.

“Delia, we can’t –“

“Pats.” Delia’s voice was a little steadier this time. “Ask me anyway.”

Patsy rolled her eyes in jest before pulling away slightly and cupping Delia’s face in her hands, bringing Delia’s eyes up to meet her own. 

“Delia Busby, will you marry me?”

Patsy hadn’t expected the catch of emotion in her throat as she said the words. She hadn’t prepared herself for rush of feelings as she heard Delia’s affirmative response. It didn’t matter that they couldn’t get married. What mattered was that they wanted to. What mattered was that Patsy had allowed herself to love and be loved, had opened herself up so wholly to another person and was reaping the rewards day after day. Patsy didn’t care if the law didn’t recognise the joining of their souls. She made a promise to Delia, there and then. They belonged to each other, and that was what mattered. 

*

“You two must have gone for quite the drive last night!” Trixie looked up as Patsy and Delia clambered out of their tent the next morning, yawning heavily. “I don’t even think I heard you come back, and I went to bed ages after you left.”

“Gosh, yes, we had quite the trip!” Patsy said, settling down into her camp chair and not quite meeting Delia’s eyes. They definitely _had_ had quite the trip and now, in the cold light of day, Patsy didn’t know how she was ever going to look Phyllis in the eye again, knowing what she had done to Delia in the backseat of her car…

“Oh, I’ve had such a lovely time!” Said Barbara as she leant back in her chair, closing her eyes against the warm morning sun. “I can’t bear the thought of going back to work tomorrow!”

Delia groaned as she set about making the morning fire. 

“Tell me about it. I could get used to this kind of living! More fire and less babies.”

“I don’t think that’s really the tagline that the NHS is going for.” Patsy laughed, picking up the kettle and setting off down to the stream to fill it with water. As much as the others didn’t want to go home, Patsy was looking forward to it. She had missed Nonnatus the past couple of days – it was the first place in a long time that had ever felt like home to her. She smiled as she bent down to the stream and dipped her hands in. There was another reason she was eager to get home, too. A small, delicate, silver reason, hidden in the box under her bed, the most precious of her mother’s possessions, and yet the one she was most willing to give away…

*

“Patsy?” Trixie’s voice piped up from the back seat as they settled into the long journey home. 

“Mmm?” Patsy answered absently as she lazily watched the countryside zooming past the window. 

There was a pause as Trixie smirked, a smug look on her face as she adopted a tone of innocent nonchalance.

“I was just wondering,” Trixie said slowly, “why one of your bras is under the backseat?”


End file.
